Evidently Covid Time

The bloody scene is bloody sad, 
The bloody news is bloody bad, 
My bloody business is bloody broke,
My credit rating’s a bloody joke. 
They’ve got a bloody Covid clause 
To pass their bloody screwed up laws; 
Fill bloody forms and form a line - 
Brace yourself for Covid time.

Boris got it bloody wrong -
That bloody mask’s a bloody thong! 
My bloody phone’s been bloody hot - 
My bloody friends and family rock. 
The bloody birds are bloody loud 
There’s not a bloody vapour cloud; 
The sky is far too bloody blue 
What the bleeps to bloody do? 
Shut the door and keep in line 
It’s bloody Covid 19 time. 

I’m wearing bloody Lycra tights,
There’s not a bloody car in sight. 
My bloody calves are bloody aching, 
My bloody daughter’s bloody baking. 
My bloody son is taking walks 
And leaves his desk to bloody talk. 
I’ve chopped all next year’s bloody logs, 
My lent’s gone to the bloody dogs. 
Fill the trolley high with wine 
It’s bloody Covid 19 time. 

My bloody Dad has got me sowing, 
My bloody seeds are bloody growing. 
I bloody garden in the nude 
And no one says it’s bloody rude. 
There’s seats on every bloody train, 
The bloody evening’s filled with games. 
My bloody time’s so bloody free
I only have to think of me - 
Isolation’s not a bloody bore 
I hope they bloody give us more. 
Pass the gin and slice a lime 
It’s bloody Covid 19 time. 

Lizzy Lister – April 2020

(With thanks and acknowledgement to John Cooper Clarke, whose Evidently Chicken Town provided the inspiration for this verse)